It takes time

This morning I was listening to the latest Yoga Peeps podcast, and it was an interview with Bryan Kest. When answering the question of what advice he has for a beginning yoga teacher, he said that becoming a yoga teacher is like growing a tree, and it takes a long time to grow a tree. He said we can't expect it to feel comfortable and to easily be able to express our thoughts and intentions into words as a beginner teacher. I liked his advice, and it was reassuring to me. I know that it will take time to become a good teacher, and I have patience and perseverance to do it.

Upside down. Boy, you turn me.

We had a class on Sunday about sequencing. Which poses to do in what order. The thing I remember most about it is the idea and importance of doing shoulder stand after headstand. Also, the teacher suggested that we have a daily headstand practice, even if it is only for 30 seconds a day. As a result, I have done headstand, handstand and shoulderstand the past 3 mornings during my morning practice. It is easier to do it when I know that the commitment is only for 30 seconds.

Food (eat less)

When I started this Yoga Teacher Training (YTT) program, I was concerned about eating healthy and finding time to eat enough. As a result, I started eating more than I previously did and ended up gaining 5 pounds. Enough to make my pants feel tighter. Pretty surprising considering how active I've been. Then I realized that I've been overeating. I was eating when I wasn't hungry, for fear that I wouldn't have time to eat later or sometimes because I felt that I deserved a big meal after working hard in a yoga class.
Since realizing that, I've changed my ways. Now I'm eating breakfast, a good (and usually home made) lunch, and a healthy snack or light meal in the evening only if I'm hungry. It is working out well and I feel nourished.

Shoulder up and back

I spoke too soon in my last post, my shoulder problem resurfaced full force on Saturday. However, this week I've gained more insight into the problem, how to practice with it and aid its healing. The same advice has been given to me by numerous people, which is to keep my shoulder up and back, since it is coming forward and down, more than the other one. My chiropractor, 3 yoga instructors, and a classmate all noticed the same thing. It finally clicked on Tuesday night that if I pull my shoulder way back (it feels like way back to me, but it doesn't look like it), I can practice yoga without pain. I was in an Anusara class Tuesday night, and the teacher (Stacey Rosenberg) adjusted my shoulder and shoulder blade while I was in upward facing dog. She said part of my shoulder problem was that it was lagging behind the other one. She pulled the shoulder blade down my back and moved the top of my humerus bone back. Keeping that movement in mind, I continued the class and was able to move my arm in ways that previously caused discomfort.

I've had more practice with teaching yoga. On Saturday at our YTT workshop, we got into groups of 4 and took turns each teaching the others for 30 minutes. This was super challenging for a number of reasons. Sequencing was hard because we had to start where our classmate had left off, and also because we don't know enough about how to sequence yet. We were all surprised by this assignment, and so having no plan and just making it up as we went along was a challenge. Afterwards we gave each other feedback, and I found that uncomfortable, too. I wanted to be helpful but not hurt anyone's feelings, and that might not be possible in some instances. Also, I was frustrated with my own imperfectness.

On Sunday we practice taught each other again and it went much better for me. This time we were given a specific routine to teach, and then we all took turns teaching that sequence. Also I was more comfortable this time with the feedback part of it, because I had a better understanding of the fact that this is how we learn. You have to fall down a lot before you learn how to walk.

On Monday I taught a private yoga lesson to a friend, and it was our third session. She told me that she noticed I have improved in terms of putting into words how to get into the poses. The session felt much smoother to me. It was less terrifying and more fun.

Love. Confidence. Focus.

Yesterday was a good day. I had a great yoga session: I went to an evening class taught by Dina Amsterdam, and I was able to stay focused on my breath and stay in the present moment throughout the class so well that I didn't notice the time fly by. Usually I take a few peeks at the clock during a class, but this time, the first time I looked was when the teacher instructed us to lie down for the final pose, and I checked to see if it was really time for the class to be over. It was. Throughout the entire class the teacher encouraged us to say the word "Love" to ourselves with every inhale, and "Confidence" on the exhale. It was empowering.

All day yesterday during my commute times and on my lunch break I was listening to different yoga talk podcasts on my iPod (portable digital music player). I subscribe to Darren Main's podcast, and he shared with us his interview on another podcast called Yoga Peeps. So then I downloaded more Yoga Peeps interviews and listened to different yoga teachers talk about their lives, experiences and beliefs. I enjoyed the interviews with Ana Forrest, Heidi Sormaz, and Kimberly Wilson, who also has a podcast called Hip Tranquil Chic. It was fun to listen to people talking about their love for yoga. It was inspiring and I think it contributed to my wonderfully focused class last night.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that my body feels great! My shoulder is so much better! I feel nearly back to my usual self. It was exciting and I was very happy with the ease that I was able to practice with last night.

Refreshed

On Friday night we had a lecture on The 8 Limbs of Yoga. This lecture was long anticipated. Our main teacher, Darren Main, had referred to it several times, by saying something about the 8 Limbs and then mentioning that Karl will tell us more about it when he talks to us later about The 8 Limbs of Yoga. I've read about the 8 Limbs in at least 4 different books, and I've made several attempts to memorize the Sanskrit and English names of each Limb. Most recently I read the Sri Swami Satchidananda translation and commentary of The Yoga Sutras, and I focused on the sections describing the 8 Limbs on the weeks prior to the lecture. The lecture was on a Friday night between 8pm and 10pm, and the teacher mentioned that late at night isn't the best time for concentration and study. However, I sat tall in a meditative seated position, focused on my breathing and the teacher's meaning, and I managed to pay attention during 95% of his talk. It was interesting, although sometimes so philosophical that my head got fuzzy.

On Sunday Jane Austin taught us about Post-natal yoga. First she reviewed the yoga suggestions for pre-natal yoga. Then she taught the class about Labor & giving birth. Jane Austin and the wealth of information she shared with us were great. She taught us some exercises that are good for women to do in the weeks after giving birth. After the class, I met up with Bob and some friends who have an 8 month old baby. I talked to them about what I had learned, and taught the mom one of the simple exercises I learned. It was a wonderful coincidence that our dinner plans with the new parents was right after my post-natal workshop.

Distance

Distance, meaning how far I've come, and how far I have yet to go, in terms of my health and my yoga/body/self knowledge. Also, distance reminds me of the physical distance of 3,000 miles between me and where I grew up. I miss my Mom and my brother, and it looks like I won't be able to visit this Summer like I usually do, because of my busy schedule. I will be home for Christmas, however, and I will try to wait until then.

Today I was imagining how much my understanding of my body and yoga will change in the next few years. It has changed dramatically in the past 6 months, and I realize how much more I'd like to learn. I am excited about the future, proud about my achievements, and blissed out about this present moment. Things are great for me right now and I am extremely grateful to any and all who contribute to that.

I met with my teacher for a private lesson and I explained my shoulder issues, as well as other unique aspects of my different body parts that challenge me, like my feet, knees and legs. It felt good to explain and verbalize what I have been experiencing compared to what I hear different teachers suggesting that I try to experience. My teacher told me that anything she may suggest or that another teacher suggests is only a suggestion which may or may not be right for me. I can try it out and then decide. I hurt my shoulder doing an exercise that I instinctively felt wasn't good for me. I am trying to take more responsibility for my decision to do the exercise. I now see that I could have stood breathing in Tadasana instead. It is up to me to take care.

It is amazing to me sometimes that I am consistently involved in any physical activity at all. When I say that, I mean compared to how my health has limited me in the majority of my life so far. I had severe asthma, and I couldn't play sports or run or even bike too fast. That is still true for me to some degree. But with Yoga, the pace is slow and there is so much emphasis on keeping the breath slow and even, that I am able to exercise without exciting my asthma. Yoga classes and a healthy diet help to keep my breathing easy and clear. It is a gift, and I see and feel myself changing. I've come so far and I can see so many more places ahead to go.